14th May 2009

It's been nearly half a year since i last wrote here... all coz i was busy with study and of course the exams! i took them one after another, unwillingly, reluctantly.... Till the end of April and early May, as my Professional exam was approaching, the stress level was so unbearable.. During the revision weeks, i'd dreamt of my theory exam, my clinical exam.. Every night, i fell asleep while recalling the stuff i read for the day and then only to find myself shocked to waken up in the middle of the nights coz of the jerk of my legs and crampy limbs..

My adrenaline surge made me having early satiety most of the time followed by loss of appetite. I'm sure nothing went wrong with my hypothalamus. Things just seemed so gloomy. In a few occassions, i broke into tears when thinking of i just couldn't handle this. O Lord, pardon me for being such a faithless one. I prayed so hard to Abba Father and words kept telling me that God is with me, He won't test us beyond our capability but i just didn't seem to have faith in Him. Forgive me, o Lord.

A day before my OSCE, i really couldn't calm myself down thinking of the 5-minute bell. What if i went blank in that 5 minutes and the next station and then the subsequent ones? Thanks God He's really with me, my worry only proved to be groundless..

Few days before short and long cases, i was so restless... my mind was so busy at most of the time.. Few minutes before i was called for my short cases, i understood why the DSM-IV criteria of 4/13 peaked in 10 minutes for panic attack. Thanks God He was with me and is still with me that i didn't fulfill the criteria =)

Now, all was over. God was with me and is still with me and i made it, I passed the exam. Glory be to God!

Really thankful to all my family members & dear dear for praying unceasingly for me. thanks to dear dear that you repeatedly reassured and calmed me down whenever i was so stressful. Thanks to my friends and study group members (jun & ang) for being with me throughout the period. Congratulations to you guys! Thanks to angang for the dinner that night and of course, your reassurance.

Will continue to pray that God continue to guide us through our housemanship.

p/s: sorry angang u are not in the photo, i think you know why =p